Patsified: Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from Patsified!

(Mouseover Patsy)

The Night Before Christmas (Patsy Cline-Style)

~ by Lori S. King, Patsifan and fellow Texan ~

'Twas the night before Christmas, where there in my
dreams,
I had an experience more real than it seems...
The stockings were hung by the chimney, ya know,
(But since I'm in Texas, there weren't no snow).

The tree was a-standin' by the chimney just right,
With bright reds and golds and just bustin' with light!
I had to sit down just to take in the scene,
(And enjoy it all while it was still clean).

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter!
O'er towards the door I flew in a snap,
Kicked it wide open and tied up my wrap ~

The moon shone above all twinklin' and bright,
Hell ~ it was so big that it hardly was night!
And that's when I saw something come down the way...
Oh Lord ~ 'twas an Oldsmobile marked 'Connie B. Gay!'

And who was there ridin' jes like in a parade,
Proudly wearin' a dress that her Mama had made?
If you didn't know, you could tell by the sign:
Good God up in Heaven -- it was Miss Patsy Cline!

She was dressed all in fringe from her hat to her boots,
There weren't no mistakin' this country gal's roots!
The car came to my driveway then rolled to a stop,
Patsy lifted her heels, and out she did hop!

Then she dusted her skirt off and winked her right eye,
Stretched out her legs and let out a sigh.
But she didn't waste breath, no sir! Not this dame!
Put her hands on her hips, and then called me by name:

"Hey honey, hey darlin', hey sweet lil' thang!
So ya like how I yodel? Ya like how I sang?
Well, it ain't nothin' at all to do some right here,
If you'd just show me on in ~ but first get me a beer?"

Well, what could I say, oh Lord, what could I do?
I bet what I'd do is 'bout same as you!
Soon I waited and shifted as she blew away foam,
(I'd told her to come in and just act like she's home).

Her eyes ~ how they twinkled! Her hairdo ~ how sassy!
Her demeanor like a Queen, yet a little bit brassy!
Not to mention the fact that she was dressed all in red,
Just purty enough to knock a man dead!

The end of her cig'rette she held tight in her teeth ~
And her halo encircled her head like a wreath!
Whenever she laughed, she would shake to the core ~
No, not even a laugh, Lord ~ more like a ROAR!!!

She was friendly and happy, a right country ole elf,
(Though I cried when I saw her, in spite of myself).
One last guffaw and she finished her beer ~
Soon wasn't long 'fore I knew why she was here!

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
Stood up on her feet and then turned with a jerk ~
Then she opened her mouth ~ so regal and sure,
And out came the music ~ so poignant and pure!

I laughed while I listened (but then cried some more),
And she lifted her collar as she went towards the door.
Oh God, how I didn't want her to go,
Away here from Texas (where there weren't no snow)!

She sprang back to her ride, and then let out a whistle,
And away she sped off, like the down of a thistle!
But I heard her exclaim, very loud and with sauce,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO YOU, YA SWEET LITTLE HOSS!!!"